Horror stories from the land of do-it-yourself marketing

As we enter the season of jack-o-lanterns, rubber masks and haunted houses, we thought this might be an opportune time to petrify you with some marketing tales of terror. No, these yarns don’t involve zombies, headless horsemen or radioactive sludge monsters from the Black Lagoon. Our heart-stopping, bone-chilling tragedies are populated by businesses that embark on ill-fated efforts to self-market their services with poorly designed plans and materials, or go cheap with the belief that all marketing services are equal, resulting in disappointments and money wasted.

Now don’t get us wrong; there are options out there for companies that want to take the do-it-yourself approach, such as books, Web sites – even instructional videos. These resources can be helpful if the business is using them for self education and not external promotion. Thinking one can learn all there is to know about marketing from a self-help course is like thinking one can climb Mt. Everest with a few hours of hiking training.

Think of it instead as goal setting. If the business was climbing a mountain (the equivalent of trying to launch a campaign or create strategy), doing it alone could be accomplished if the goal was climbing Camelback Mountain, or selling to a small crowd at a local event. It could be done. If, on the other hand, the business was trying to compete with a larger market, then attempting to create an all-encompassing marketing strategy without professional help is … well … a little like trying to climb Mount Everest without a guide, sherpas, an oxygen mask, a tent or any supplies.
 
The stories below outline a number of bad mistakes in marketing: mistakes that nightmares are made of, if you own or run a business. These are mistakes that can be avoided with the right marketing partner as your guide so that marketing dollars are well spent, strategic, measured for results and effective. If you want to scale a high peak, then do so only with a good partner whom you trust and who takes the time to know your company and your business.

Mean what you say and say what you mean:

When a Miami t-shirt maker printed shirts in Spanish to market the Pope’s visit, the slogan, “I saw the Pope” was mistranslated into “I saw the potato.” Needless to say, he did not sell many t-shirts to a highly religious population wanting to remember their visit by the Pope. Pepsi had a similar problem in China when its slogan, “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” became “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave,” when translated for the Chinese market. And then there was the client who tried to save some money by hiring an off-shore firm for writing customer service articles.  The articles were intended for proper customer service phone etiquette; however, they were rife with phrases such as "So don't ruin the whole process by being too cruel on the line. Be as friendly as you can, even though the customer is pissing you to death."

The problems stem from a lack of understanding of both the language and the culture involved, and from someone trying to cut corners and do marketing on the cheap. 

What the do-it-yourself articles don’t tell you…

There are a lot of articles and Web sites that espouse the thrill of creating your own marketing materials, but they often fail to paint the whole picture. While they can provide a general idea of the do’s and don’ts of creating a brochure, they’re not big on specifics; nor do they address the underlying effectiveness of creating a strategy that targets the market, creates the messages, marries those messages with visuals that drive it home, and finds the channels that work best to reach the target audience for the product or service. Simply said, if you want a professional job, you need to hire a professional to do it. 

Halloween IV:  Marketing stunts that died a grisly death…

WKRP’s Thanksgiving turkey drop (http://www.kewego.com/video/iLyROoafYtDe.html) may go down as the world’s most notorious (albeit fictional) failed promotional idea, but some REAL companies are giving the radio station a run for its money. Snapple’s attempt to erect the world’s largest Popsicle came close. So did the two streakers who raced through a New Zealand rugby match wearing nothing but the Vodafone logo. If only cooler, more professional heads had prevailed, maybe these tragedies could have been averted…

Interested in seeing some additional failed stunts?

Don't be afraid to leave it to the pros

You may be thinking about taking a do-it-yourself approach to your marketing because you’re wary of the cost of hiring a professional. But what means more to you: the money that you pay for a professional marketing company, or the amount of money that you net at the end of the day? Most savvy business owners would say the latter. When it’s all said and done, professional marketers help you reach more consumers with a message that is much clearer and more effective. That translates into increased revenue.

An amateur marketing strategy simply won’t cut it in today’s competitive world. Let corecubed find the best way for you to go to market, and on your budget to boot. Let us open the door for you to greater results and happier clients.

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