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December 2006 online newsletter article Patty PR and the Case of the Hungry Bistro A dark night in a city that knows how to expose company secrets, but on the corner of Calamity and Success Streets, one woman is still trying to save the world from bad marketing and the mullet. It was the night before Christmas and all through my house, the only creature stirring was growling in my stomach. Deciding to forgo my usual Chinese Heaven fare due to a recent event involving teriyaki smelling of old men’s feet after a day in polyester sneakers without socks, I chose to haunt a little Italian bistro recently opened at the corner. The waitress had a hairstyle snatched from my high school yearbook, like it had been freeze framed for 30 years atop her head, but I was surprised to find my spaghetti bolognaise was as fresh and perfect as the first day of school. “With spaghetti like this, how is it your restaurant isn’t full on a Friday?” For in fact, other than me and a raisin-wrinkled man in the corner, the place was emptier than a drunkard’s flask on New Year’s. “We can’t seem to get the word out about our business. We’ve advertised in all the local papers, but we just can’t seem to get the customers through the doors. I’m afraid we’ll need to close soon if business doesn’t pick up within the next few weeks.” I knew exactly whose help they needed and excused myself to the bathroom. I was used to the looks of wonder that I received upon reintroducing myself a few minutes later in my scholarly spectacles and suit coat disguised as Patty PR, savior of companies large and small. “If you’re hungry for customers, your name recognition needs to come through third party endorsements, not advertising. You know-- the peanut vender down the street may have a billboard claiming he’s got the best nuts in town, but until he’s got Myrna Lovegood convinced and named in her Journal’s Hot Picks on the Town, he’s really just another blow-hard business owner. People pay attention to press. I mean, what would you trust more, an advertisement stating that Pacers are now safer than ever, or a Consumer Reports article describing how the Pacer has always been more dangerous than a man jumping off a cliff with a hankie for a parachute and to buy a Volkswagon Golf instead? News coverage will build your company’s credibility.” “But we’ve already put so much money into advertising. Maybe our ads just aren’t catchy or flashy enough?” She had about as much sense as her company’s bank account. “Lady, if you’re as reluctant about change with your company as you are about your hair, you might as well close up shop today and have it done with. A noticeable ad does not necessarily bring in business and just because the price is high does not mean the value is high. Effective PR can bring in record sales, often for less than the cost of even one ad. It is a common saying among us PR superheroes that for every $1 spent on PR, $6 is made.” She seemed to be coming around to my point of view, so I decided to take advantage of her frame of mind to reframe her thoughts about hair as well. Within a week, I’d given her a fresh look, and within a month, the bistro had been given a fresh start with a glowing Myrna Lovegood review that was reprinted in several of the community newspapers. The lonely hearts bistro was no longer a room full of echoes, but a cavern full of carousing; and the spaghetti had never been finer. A dark night in a city that knows how to expose company secrets, but on the corner of Calamity and Success Streets, one woman is still trying to save the world from bad marketing and the mullet.
Here are some PR results that corecubed helped our clients win, as well as what it might have cost our clients to have purchased advertising space for an ad of similar size. Eco-Cell Flame Run *PR is an ongoing process and the results mentioned above are from clients who have been working with corecubed on a monthly basis.
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